A sound sleep

i did it. I finally admitted it to my close friend. Feeling better now and not surprisingly since my mind's at peace, my body gave in to my fatigue and i slept early for once, well from the start of the year. My body just shut down and i woke up realising i slept with my laptop still running.

I think i really gained back my laughter

I don't know what i did to deserve a friend like you but i'm thankful to GOD for letting you into my life.

The first and the last

Sometimes i think if i cry my heart out den perhaps i'll feel better with all sorts of feelings that i bottled up in me.
But I refuse to let myself do that

I'm learned the hard way since young that if i ever cry the only person that will always be there to wipe my tears away would be just me. Just me.

I've always prided myself in not letting people affect me but to think i let someone affect me this way.

Call me being egoistic or what not. But i don't think anyone deserve me worrying them. I'm the master of my own destiny. Everyone have their own problems, i should take care of my own feelings. I would very much prefer to be the one there for someone rather than have somebody be there for me.

This will be that first and the last a friend will make me feel this way

Give me time

all i need is time

Bruised Ego

I used to say "Nobody can make you feel a certain way unless you let them" but i'm contradicting myself.

Things are better now but i guess the problem is

Nobody had ever made me feel this way. I hate to say this word, neglected.Never did i thought such a day would come for me. None of my close friends ever made me feel this way before. I never allowed people to let me feel this way. The case is always people telling me i neglected them. But to think that now a person whom i deemed as a close friend made me feel this way.The tables are turned. tsk Such a day finally came for you huh huhudada. Karma's a bitch.

Maybe its because i put too much importance in this friendship since its the first time i thought i found a guy friend who would befriend me just the way i am and not because i can help them in something, that they wanna be friends with me for me. But the feeling of being pushed away eventhough if the person might not feel so, i guess sighh.. all i know is that

I will/should never be weak for there are lots of people relying on me to be the one strong for them.

Perhaps until the day i get over the fact that someone did hurt me den maybe things will be back to normal. Then maybe i'll regain back my happiness. But the problem with me is that i won't even admit to myself.

But for now i just can't accept the fact that i allowed myself to be affected/appear weak